As we feared would happen once I started taking the blood thinners again, I started having some headaches a couple of weeks ago and since last Wednesday, I’ve had a headache that won’t go away. It doesn’t seem to matter how much headache medicine I take. These headaches are a reaction to the blood thinners so nothing works to make them stop except to stop taking the blood thinners, which I can’t really do without a high risk of dying. We were hopeful that this wouldn’t happen this time, but it has. I have to go back to the doctor this week to see if we can find something – perhaps a Beta Blocker – that I might be able to take every day to actually prevent the headaches rather than taking something to try to get rid of them once they’ve already started, since that obviously doesn’t work. Please pray that we’ll find another option. On top of that, all week I’ve been having more severe abdominal and leg pain. I’m starting to feel like a walking time bomb, but I know that the Bible says:
“Because he loves me,” says the LORD, “I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.
He will call upon me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him.
With long life will I satisfy him and show him my salvation.”
I generally can’t stand complaining (by me or anyone else) so I really try to act like everything is ok, but it is not. I am going to go crazy if I can’t get rid of these headaches. I will NOT let this stop me from living, though, so I’m still writing and working a few hours per week and doing as much as I can with the children. I am happy to answer questions and do the regular work I’ve been doing with homeschooling. If anything, it helps me focus on something else besides the pain for a while so I’m glad to have distraction. Otherwise, I still just have to sleep a lot and that’s good, too, except for the fact that I don’t get much done. : )
If you are dealing with the same sorts of issues, please know that I do understand what you are going through. I talk with homeschool moms all the time who have been inspired by the posts I’ve made on chronic pain and they are encouraged. I think it is helpful to others simply to know that they ARE NOT ALONE in their suffering.
Sometimes, especially with pain – whether physical or emotional – it’s easy to feel like you’re completely isolated from the rest of the world and everyone else goes around acting completely normal while you are suffering so badly. I used to tell Chris, my husband, when I was in severe pain, that I honestly couldn’t understand how people could just be walking around acting like things were normal and life was good. Even though I lived without pain before I got sick and I fully understand that you can’t FEEL someone else’s pain, I got to the point where it was so bad that I just didn’t understand how they couldn’t feel my pain. It’s almost like the pain was so severe that I expected it to flow out of me and others would feel it as well. I know that sounds silly, but when you have pain that is debilitating, it is so all-consuming that it’s all you can think about. I understand this.
If you need a sympathetic ear, e-mail me. It is NOT easy to homeschool when you live with chronic illness, but it CAN be done!